Life is a lottery.
We can work and toil all we want to achieve our dreams, but there´s a HUGE factor to success that many forget to mention: where you are born, when, and to whom. Today I will add how as well.
You see, life dealt me a hand that was far from ideal. Born in a developing country (oops!), during my birth, I suffered a brain injury that gave me hemiparesis on the left side of my body. It means that my brain doesn’t control my left limbs very well, so I have less coordination, strength, speed, and balance. I could have easily fallen victim to self-doubt and let the box of “can’t” confine me – and for a looong time, it did!
From the start, my path seemed doomed for reliance and limits. But let me tell you, dear reader, that adversity has a way of awakening hidden strengths within us!
Defying Odds
My parents’ concern for my future was evident in every step I took, and the well-intentioned care of health professionals hung in the air. They feared a life of dependence for me, so they enveloped me with their own version of independence—one that involved constant monitoring and intervention from health professionals.
I was constantly reminded of my limitations, what I couldn´t do, what I should improve… One thing, though, caught the adult´s attention: I would scribble everywhere I was able to. The walls, the couch, the table, the phone (!!)… My mom´s solution was to cover the walls in kraft paper or old newspaper and condition me to only draw on these surfaces.
Ok, it´s normal for kids to draw, but in my case, I was advanced for my age. I skipped the entire phase of drawing stick figures, circles, etc. and drew complete scenes and characters. For once in my life, I wasn´t lagging behind and was actually good at something!
Before I turned ten, I had already collected several prizes due to my drawings. I refused to be known as the handicapped kid. It felt GREAT to be known as the artistic genius at school!
The 'Blank Canvas' Years
My identity as an artist was well and untouched until puberty hit (as usual!). I started focusing more on my academic accolades because by that time I was convinced by many adults that drawing was ‘stuff for kids’ and I wouldn´t make a career out of it because ‘we live in a poor country and artists starve here’ and ‘you need to be American to work in animation’. This part of my life was so hard that it will take me several other blog posts to elaborate.
I spent my adolescence and early twenties running away from pen and paper. Even so, I felt a tug in my heart every time I saw someone my age or younger doing what, deep down, I was dying to do. During all these years, I rested on my academic laurels as a nerdy kid with good grades and only grabbed a pen to draw in an occasional art course to relax.
My re-awakening to drawing was really shy, as a subtle act of rebellion by changing my bachelor´s degree to industrial design from a completely different industry. However, I still viewed design as superior and more mature compared to art. Design was ‘useful’ and art was not because it resulted in a clear final product that people would use. (I no longer think like that!)
The (Re)Awakening
It took me extra years and a change of countries to realize that I had just one life to live. The years started coming (and they won´t stop coming!) and I was admiring artists online, sighing every time I thought that I could have been that. I was hesitating a lot due to the sunk-cost fallacy, beating myself up that I wouldn´t use my degree. But a few thoughts crossed my mind:
“You already know you have an advantage. Time to use it.”
“Before you die, you will regret not doing what you always wanted to do.”
“What if it doesn´t work? You will never know if you don’t try.”
“The worst possible scenario is that you won´t make a career out of it. You can keep making art as a pleasure.”
So, with all that, I´m slowly but surely building the career I´ve always wanted and finally making my inner child happy. I can´t say it´s all fine and dandy because I´m finally following my dreams (that phrase makes me cringe), but having a clear path that I can follow and a target to hit makes all the battles worth it. Now, if you´re planning a life change like I did, I´ll write here what I would have told myself more than a decade ago:
Hard-Learned Lessons
- Would you regret your life on your deathbed?
- What have you always done well? Capitalize on that!
- You don´t have to quit everything; start small
- Stop comparing your journey to others’
- You don’t have to follow a path carved for you in your past
- Learn to dialogue with your inner critic and make it shut the hell up when needed
